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The Dingolden Age of Jazz
The Dingolden Age of Jazz is the ninth episode of the second season of Crash Bandicoot: N-Ventures!, but was the eleventh episode produced. The first of many episodes focusing on Dingodile's artistic endeavours, it centres on his efforts to become a world-famous jazz trombonist in the roaring 20s, despite some setbacks caused by his unusual Ice-Age-era anatomy. During production, this episode was known as The Kingodile of Swingodile. Plot Summary One day, Dingodile's bland, soulless life has been given new meaning. He has a plan! He has gathered his best friends in the whole wide world, Ripper Roo and Tiny Tiger, to tell them all about it. Dingodile is going to travel back to 1924 to become a world-famous jazz musician! Ripper Roo is excited for his friend. Tiny is, too. In fact, Tiny is so excited that he wants to go and be a jazz man, too! Dingodile asks him to audition, so Tiny plays him a short rendition of the N-Ventures theme song on the triangle. Ripper Roo is so upset by this musical abomination that he grounds Tiny for life. Tiny walks away, full of sorrow. Suddenly, Pinstripe Potoroo walks in, having heard everything. Pinstripe says that Dingodile can't be famous without hiring a big Hollywood agent. And Pinstripe would really like to be that big Hollywood agent! Dingodile agrees unquestioningly. Dingy's all set, so Dr. Nefarious T. loads him into his crystal tuning fork slingshot, and flings him into the past! Three weeks later, Pura is awoken early in the morning by a knock at the door. It's the Wumpostman, with a letter addressed to Crashie! Pura opens the envelope and starts reading. Dingodizzy Dilespie will be playing his debut jazz trombone concert tomorrow, in the world-famous Appalling Theatre, in 1924! Pura is confused, as she doesn't know what jazz is. Crash, however, is vaguely familiar with the concept of jazz, as he's seen it referenced countless times on The Will Cawsby Show, starring Wumpa Island's favourite ageing avian comedian. In an amazingly lame cutaway, we see a scene from the show, in which Will Cawsby (Special Guest Star Gilbert Gottfried) awkwardly peddles delicious Wumpell-O Wumpudding Wumpops. It is terrible. Coco then enters, riding Aku Aku like a pogo stick. Akie says he wishes he'd never grown that blasted Pogo-a-Gogo Feather. Everyone just laughs! Coco then says that she loves jazz, and that there's no debating it - she wants to go to 1924, and now! Aku Aku, however, whines that he does not want to go. He tries to run away, but Coco just grabs his Leashy Feather and starts dragging him to Tropy's Time Twisting Machine. Crash and Pura just shrug, and follow them. Meanwhile, in 1924, Dingodizzy is about to take the stage - but first his assistants, Thelonious Larry and Felonious Bill, polish his trombone for him. They wish him luck. Out in the crowd, Coco is excited about the upcoming show. Aku Aku and Pura, however, are not. Meanwhile, Crashie is completely distracted by another audience member, none other than Will Cawsby! Crashie asks if Mr. Cawsby can get him a free lifetime supply of Wumpell-O Wumpudding Wumpops. He cannot. Crashie says he'll settle for an autograph. This is also refused. Crash is deeply saddened. And Dingodizzy Dilespie finally takes the stage! He announces that he will be playing an original tune of his own composition, The Shrimp on the Barbie Blues. However, as soon as he starts playing, the major flaw with this plan is revealed: Dingodizzy's flame breath! The flames spill forth from his trombone and set the entire Appalling Theatre ablaze. Will Cawsby lamely whines about how Dingodizzy Dilespie doesn't know the true meaning of jazz. Everyone flees the burning building. Aku Aku himself has caught aflame, but quick-thinking Crash manages to put him out by throwing him on the ground and stomping on him, repeatedly. The crispy, charry, but no longer flaming mask humbly thanks the bandicoot. The next day, Dingodizzy is talking to his big Hollywood agent, Pinstripe Beboparoo. Mr. Dilespie admits that his debut didn't go as well as he had hoped, but knows that he can redeem himself if he's given a second chance. Mr. Beboparoo, however, informs him that, after burning down the world-famous Appalling Theatre, nobody will ever want to touch him again. He's a leper! Dingodizzy doesn't know what that means, so he just shrugs, and asks if he can at least have his share of the profits from last night's show. Pinstripe informs him that he's keeping it all, as his big-time Hollywood agent commission. That's it! Now Dingodizzy HAS to find a way to keep performing, or else he'll never be able to pay off the 50 bucks he spent on that trombone! He realises that he has but one choice - he'll have to take lessons from the one, the only, the legendary duo of Ripper Rooie Armstrong and Rilla Rooie Armstrong. Meanwhile, in the present, Uka Uka asks Dr. Neo Cortex where Dingodile, Labby Larry, Beaker Bill, Pinstripe Potoroo, Ripper Roo, and Rilla Roo are. Cortex thinks for a minute, and realises that he does not know. Uka Uka immediately proceeds to yell at him for not being able to keep track of his minions. This is the last we see of the series' primary antagonists this week. Meanwhile, in 1924, Dingodizzy humbly asks the Rooie Armstrong Bros. for help. The brothers explain that the path to playing jazz without setting the building ablaze will be a long and difficult journey. Dingodizzy says that he's willing to do all the training it takes. Cue an extended training montage, set to a weird smooth jazz parody of that one song from Rocky! Unfortunately, this accomplishes nothing. Dingodizzy still cannot not breathe fire while playing his trombone. "You're hopeless," exclaim the Rooie Armstrong Bros.! Dingodizzy is depressed. He goes to sit on a park bench and feed the pigeons (Kevin Michael Richardson). But even the pigeons seem to be mocking him! "You're totally un-coooooooo," they say! Just then, the park's sprinkler system switches on. It gets Dingodizzy all wet. He proceeds to complain about this at length, using a bunch of stereotypical Australianisms in the process of course - but then he stops. The wet water has given him an idea. He goes to meet with the world-famous jazz inventor Herbie N. Gincock. Gincock has just what Dingodizzy is looking for! He introduces Mr. Dilespie to his latest invention, the Soon-to-be-Well-Known Super Duper Sprinkler Cone - Wait a Second, Hold the Phone, Did You Just Say "Sprinkler Cone"? - Yes I Did, It's For the Trombone, So That Horn Can Be Endlessly Blown and Your Fire Breath Will Never Be Shown and the Audience Will Never Again Boo, Hiss, or Moan, Well, Except Maybe Some Particularly Ill-Tempered Old Crone! Dingodizzy Dilespie just smiles. The next day, in the present, Pura is awoken by a knock at the door. It's the Wumpostman, with a letter addressed to Crashie! Pura opens the envelope and starts reading. Dingodizzy Dilespie will be playing his long-awaited reunion tour concert at the brand-new Beboparoo Note Jazz Club, Bar and Grill. Crash asks if they serve Wumpa Island Iced Tea there. The letter says yes. This time, Crash does not hesitate to embark on the trip with Coco. Later, in 1924, Dingodizzy is preparing once again to take the stage. Thelonious Larry and Felonious Bill make sure his trombone is perfectly polished, and also, that Herbie N. Gincock's invention is properly plugged into a grounded electrical outlet. Then, Dingodizzy steps out onstage and begins playing the Shrimp on the Barbie Blues again. This time, however, the sprinkler invention turns on and douses the flames before they can set the building on fire. Surprisingly, Dingodizzy is not a terrible trombonist! Will Cawsby interrupts the performance to declare that it's the finest live jazz performance he's ever been witness to. He tells Dingodizzy to resume playing. He does, and Cawsby joyously dances along! After the song, Cawsby thanks Dingodizzy Dilespie for the greatest night of his life. He then flies off to the present, to start filming his new series about children with bad hair, Kids Say the Dandruff Things. Shockingly, Aku Aku also thanks Dingodizzy, saying that his smooth trombone rhythms have finally made a jazz fan of him. The show was such a smash success that Dingodizzy immediately asks Pinstripe Beboparoo for his cut of the profits. Beboparoo just says that he decided to keep it all for himself again. Everyone just laughs! Coco then tells the kids at home that, while the things their grandparents like might be old and lame, it's always best to humour them and pretend otherwise, because they might not be around for much longer.